The Oracle of Jessymandias

Goodbye

2006-07-09T18:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Jason,

I'll miss you.

--Jesse

Its SCARY to stay at the YMCA

2006-06-22T14:49:00.000-07:00

well, its pride week ladies and gentelmen. And you know what happens in pride week yes?

That's right. All the devoted worshipers of Jessymandias, blessings showed be upon his myriad names, get a speical treat!

Keep chasin' that rainbow.

Vampirialism

2006-03-11T19:19:00.000-08:00

Oh-kay

there are some new drugs, sulfasalazine, that my pharmacist recomended. While looking over the side effects I came across this little gem: "may cause increased sensativity to sunlight"

That's right, these drugs turn you into a vampire.
Isn't that scary?
Other side-effects include inability to enter the threashold of a door way without permission, and a taste for human blood.

this could be a whole new chapter in my life--and hey--maybe you can be in it too

ttyl,
Jesse

If you can call that living...

2006-02-19T01:28:00.000-08:00

well the doctor says that I might have my colon removed in order to save my life.

well, that's great...for him. With me not having my colon, my doctor'll have all the time in the world to mac on all my sweethearts.

anyhow! what do you think I should do with my colon if I get to keep it? I need some suggestions.

My Blog Sucks

2006-02-01T07:21:00.000-08:00

Hello America, as you have probly noticed, my blog realy sucks.

It is rarely updated, infrequenlty visited and lorded over by a dateless wonder from Hells-Bells Minnesota.

so if you want to see a really good site, go ahead and click the link provided in my links section [warning, no sausage]

on to us a child is Born, on to us a son is given

2006-02-01T07:09:00.000-08:00

"Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son and you shall call His name Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His Kingdom there will be no end."

--the archangel Jessyiel

Junk Food Holiday

2006-02-01T06:07:00.000-08:00

for the last three days I've ate nothing but junk food.

as you can imagine the results are unpleasent, I feel sick and unhappy. Let this be a warning to all you young men who think that they can survive off nothing be greased chicken and McGriddles, it just is not worth it.

In other pants related news i have moved my fly button about an inch to the left. I am now in a galaxy of pleasure from this new loose fit, and damned be the consequences. Many people stop me on the street; outraged at my indecency, "look their goes that degenerate libertine who loosed in trousers to accomidate is ever increasing girth. Stay clear of him all ye' rightous livers."

I however will not appologise!

You'll Never Know!

2006-01-20T14:09:00.000-08:00

"I'II find it Iudicrise if they Iocate Iife on Io"

please gentle reader, count the under of "L"s in that sentance. How many did you get? was it five? Now how many "i"s are in that sentance. Did you get two? Well, hate to say it, but if you answered that way you'd be wrong.

Don't feel bad, its a trick.

you see there is no way of distinguising between a Iower case "L" and an upper case "i." They both look alike! so all that you really know is that there is somewere between zero and seven "I"s and an inverse number of "I"s.

yeah...think about it!

so what is the real number of "I"s and the real number of "I"s you're asking...I'll never tell

Friendship is...

2006-01-19T03:34:00.000-08:00

anyone who knows me knows how important freindship is to me, so if you don't know what friendship is all about you should click on this link

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060118/ap_on_fe_st/japan_hamster_and_snake

you might just learn something

I know a lot of you want to give me pants...

2006-01-18T17:48:00.000-08:00

...you know, for presents and stuff. But I have to warn you that it is a BIG mistake. I'm the sort of man who feels truley comfortable in only one pair of pants. I own--I'm in posession of--in fact, I can use whenever I want--3 pairs of trousers. But for the last 2 months I've only wore one of the the three --1:3--1/3--this means that 2 of my pants are in a constant state of not being used...not wanting to be used.

so please, stop sending my pants, I won't use them.

p.s. if you have any use for 2 pairs of pants yourself, please post a comment

The Oracle of Jessymandias

2006-01-17T12:37:00.000-08:00

The Oracle of Jessymandias

okay now that that's over

2006-01-17T11:59:00.000-08:00

Hello, my name is Jessymandias, and I hope me and you can be freinds.

I've always been led to belive that only special-people can have their own blogs...but due to certain circumstances I find that it is neccisary for me to get my own blog. What are those Circumstances you ask?

well...

I have a lot of feelings--you know--deep down inside, and I think it is very important to get them out so that people can know what it is like--you know--to have feelings.

Another circumstance is that now that I have become a man I smell really bad. So I basicaly have two options :
1. I can take a shower
--or--
2. I can communicate using Blogspot.
Today, I'm feeling lazy

Also, because Bloging as so very very anonymouse I can make insensative comments about all kinds of people and no-one will be any wiser.

These are the main reasons for me getting a Blog right now, but if you can think of more, you can make a comment to this post

This Is a Warning

2006-01-17T11:47:00.000-08:00

The Warning is this: Jessymandias, God of all he sees, now has his own Blog. Look upon it ye mighty, and despair, for herein shall be posted all trite and hidden secrets of the god-head; herein you shall fine the most veiled inner feelings of a diety who makes nations tremble before him!